Oh shit

"I'm a nice guy" he said to his reflection. "I am a good person" he smiled only with his mouth and then consciously made his eyes smile. And he believed he was. He believed a lot of things about himself. He was gentle, kind, and misunderstood. He was important to the unknown plan of the universe, but in a way that he couldn't fully understand yet. He was the way God, Allah, Buddha, Shiva, the Cosmos intended him to be. Every single event in his life gently molding him into the person he was now. Time sculpted him into the perfect tool for initiating what would become history. History that might be unknown to everyone in the world except himself and the divine orchestrator.


Then, he stared deeply into the mirror just like we all do, and tried to peek under the surface of these thoughts. He did not trust them. He felt his belief slip. The oasis dried up and he was left floating in the void. Alone. Good and evil are merely illusions. They do not exist outside the realm of human thought. His head suddenly felt like a prison cell. He could peer out through the bars and say whatever he wanted about the outside world, but he would never know what is truly out there. His started crying for himself.


His roommate was sitting on the couch watching TV. He sat next to him and he looked at him with the same look he just gave himself. He peered through the lies he imagined his roommate told himself. He saw his doubt, fear, loneliness, hope, faith...he stopped. "No" he thought. "I'm merely painting his mind with the colours of my own. His hope isn't my hope. His fear isn't like mine."


He pictured God shattering like window. The imperfect shards rained down on the Earth and entered the minds of fertilized eggs. Each one unique and each one with its own strengths and weaknesses. Each one on its own longs for other pieces to make it more complete. But most people disguise theirs because they aren't sure others will understand. Who knows how it started, but someone somewhere told a lie about themselves. Others believed him/her and urged them lie to themselves and others. It spread throughout humanity like a plague. Everyone has it, but its so common we can't even see it.


"I'm losing my mind" he told his roommate.


His roommate turned off the TV, turned to his friend, and said "Tell me more."


Words are a shadow of reality. The ideas behind the words is what gives them their power. What his roommate was really saying was: "I see you're having trouble, maybe I can help you because you are an important person to me. Your a good person and helping people feels good because it makes me feel like a good person, but that's not why I'm doing it. I want you to feel like you can rely on me for help because then you will be relaxed which will help me relax. Besides, I've seen the show I was watching hundreds of times and I've got nothing else to do. And I noticed that you've been sad for a while, and when your sad we don't go out as much. Damn! I feel selfish now, but really, I wan't to help you because you've helped me before and I feel like I owe you, but really, its because I'm a good person and you're a good person and you deserve help...etc" Our minds come up with more ideas than that and when it comes to write it to memory, it will boil it down to something like "I listened to my roommates problems" without the hows and whys. Or "I'm a good listener". Or "People come to me with their problems." A picture is worth 1,000 words. There aren't enough for a single moment in reality.